How can I make sure that those wrongdoers suffer as much the pain as they inflicted in my life?

In answer to Quora question: "How can I make sure that those wrongdoers suffer as much the pain as they inflicted in my life?"

Question details: I think this would relieve my stress, because such people make me question whether being moral makes one happy and protected against evil or just pure fool who stays moral thinking its the right way but maybe stay so because it's easier and lazier to be good willed than to fight and compete?


A2A. Some thoughts off the top of my head:

1. When a dog is stuck in a painful trap, and its lifelong human friend comes to free it, 9 times out of 10 it will growl and bite that person viciously, because the dog is in pain and doesn't know how else to act. **Are you a dog caught in a painful trap?** If so, what choices did you make that led to this situation?

2. A sociopath is hardwired to "win at all costs." That is a central part of their disorder. They can only see the world through competing, manipulating and deceiving others in order to serve their own agenda at any cost. **Are you a sociopath?**

3. Someone stuck at an early stage of ego development will frame morality through defense of their own ego. They will make everything about championing their ego, so that they feel more secure. Because of this, they always feel they are in competition with others, and that all wrongs against them must be righted. **Are you stuck at an early stage of ego development?**

4. People with narcissistic personality disorder (and borderline personality disorder, though perhaps to a lesser degree) believe they deserve things, that they are special, important and superior - even though they may have done nothing to warrant this self-importance, and may not even be especially talented or bright. This inflated sense of self causes them to expect others to do what the narcissist wants, when they want it, and without question - to the point that a narcissist will become enraged when people won't respond in ways they expect, or won't recognize their importance and power. **Have you been evaluated for narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorder?**

5. One type of psychopath may envy and resent people around them in a hateful way. They tend to become "injustice collectors" and accrue a long list of things "wrongdoers" have perpetrated against them. They will then use these feelings of self-righteous rage to fuel revenge, executing it without remorse, and without any sense of responsibility for the harm they commit. **Are you this type of psychopath?**

Although I have no idea what all of your reasons for posting this question might be Idella, or how you really feel and think, the question itself may reflect one or more of the conditions listed above. If you honestly feel the way this question sounds - or you think it is a perfectly reasonable and logical question - I urge you to seek professional psychiatric care as soon as you are able. Remember that people suffering from many of the more serious conditions listed above do not see themselves as impaired or unhealthy in any way - but this is also part of the disorder. So again, if the question was sincere, or seems logical to you, or is deeply felt, then please seek help immediately and don't delay.

There is another possibility of course, and I certainly hope this is the case for you, rather than any of the conditions above: People who are ignorant, inexperienced, slow learners or all of these things tend to believe revenge will make them feel better. However, all the research available on "the psychology of retribution" clearly shows that people feel worse when they execute revenge; it keeps the anger fresh and the emotional wounds open and raw, and *makes them more unhappy*. ** If you are ignorant, inexperienced and/or a slow leaner, **then it's time to grow up a bit, gain some wisdom, do some research on "the psychology of retribution," and begin to live your life in a more mature, prosocial manner. You should then quickly see why people learn to "forgive and let go." If you don't experience this "aha" moment...then being ignorant, inexperienced or a slow learner isn't the problem, and you will need to revisit the other conditions listed above with some professional help.

My 2 cents.

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